you're super massive

Things We Forget: here's a little something ...

2011-02-19T14:11:00.000+08:00

Things We Forget: here's a little something ...: "...for the special people in your life. feel free to download. and thanks for your love!"

BLOGGER!!!!!!!

2010-12-01T22:35:00.002+08:00

Oh my God,
(oh my fucking God)
The tears that stain my cheek
must me look weak,
I wear them proudly, I wear them proud.
Just stand up and scream,
the tainted clock is counting down.
You gave in to me,
would you say the nights are far too long now?

I Need a Doctor Baby You Scared

Tumblr is great in all ways, but nothing beats blogging in blogger. I still love blogger though, like posting here more. So i was saying, went to climb tree top walk yesterday, which evidently killed half of me, but gained all those fats back by eating at Hans. Went to the Singapore Zoo today, which was awesomeness ttm! Can't believe I still find it fun after so long but, nothing beats going to the zoo. I don't know why either, maybe the animals there make me happy. Can't stand inconsiderate people who tease animals for their own laughter, those people should just be hanged to death or something. So going to school tomorrow at 3 pm, which is kinda depressing. ): Holidays homework - 3/100 done? Awesome. Oh well, I better start doing before I go off for church camp and stuffs, but I'm kinda not in the mood these days, so who knows. -shrugs- Currently a darn mosquito just bit me right under my nose, which is friggin' itchy, so I decided to apply tiger bum, which led it to sting like crazy fireballs. In short, it just hurts like crazy. Shall sleep in 1 hour or so! Sleepy thanks to walking the zoo.

You've finally lost me. Totally.

2010-11-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

http://youresupermassive.tumblr.com/

trying. heh.

Bleh

2010-11-18T12:50:00.002+08:00

Maybe its true, that I cant live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls

Heh, been extremely lazy to blog these days. Actually I've been real lazy to do anything for that matter. China trip was actually awesome. Far more awesome than I would ever expect it to be, cause I miss it so much now its insane. The first day there was unimpressive, city people were crude and disgusting. However the village people were totally opposite, though the motel kinda sucked, but after getting used to the smell it was alright. Loved where we ate for the next 4 days, the food was beyond awesome. I would never say no to a second round there, cause food was just so tasty. Our table was always the noisiest I kinda miss the noise we make. I totally miss playing games for people to finish the food, I miss China ): So next two days we went to the farm which was totally awesome cause we fed goats , pigs , chickens, dogs, ducks. Plant plants that were tiny. Didn't get to cut the plants for the goats though , cause by the time Angus LiNa Miss Wong and Me climbed up the were already going down. Means we've climbed for nothing, lol. Fed the goats like crazy after that, chased after chicken and that 20 year old duck, ate like crazy. Was super high going down the mountain? to the bus. Did almost the same thing the next day, except afew of us sat the tractor down, which turned out to be an extremely painful ride. But TaiLi was chasing us at the back, and he pooped halfway, while we kept screaming for the fun of it. Went to the school, played with the kids, loved them so much. They were just adorable, teaching them Abc was one of the most memorable time I've had there. Most of us just cried when we left them. The next few days were just shopping and sight-seeing, which I cannot deny, China is a really beautiful place , the places we went were just magnificent. Hated the flower market place, went through a friggin' maze that seemed to last forever just to get to the washroom. Bought eggs that grew plants, and mine is growing now! LOL. Last day Spammed shopping, ran around to shop, racing against time cause we had to go soon. Reached Singapore, slept like crazy.

Megamind was a super nice show to watch, loved Minion, he's super cute!

Class chalet was kinda boring, not to mention very little people actually came. Loved the pillows there though, they were really smooth!!! Well I just want a 2e3 chalet now ): Anyway, no mood to do holiday homework, no way I'm gonna mug at all.

Its better to stop hoping.

for something that'll never happen.

i loved you.

2010-11-03T20:17:00.003+08:00

I'm in here, can anybody see me? Can anybody help?
I'm in here, a prisoner of history...
can anybody help?
Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
you to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
all of the sadness I can not,
living inside of me

Sia - I'm in Here

School's been a living hell and constant preachings from that idiot isn't helping us function any better. So jealous of some stuffs. Leaving for China for a week. Can't say i'm exactly hyped up for it or excited, just real sleepy right now. Last day of school tomorrow anyway, but a week of China trip means more communication with people. Gonna come back and finally have some peaceful time, longer sleeps, not much thinking and just shows and dramas. No Secondary school nonsense, a deserving break just before an even more fucked up year then this one. The year's ending, Christmas is nearing, and I always loved Christmas. That special feeling of waking up and know that, today's a different day. Its still long, but i can't wait for it to come. Well, I don't have loads to say, so thats that. I'm kind of sick of the years passing, how do adults survive through each day as they supposedly grow to become more mature mentally and physically? We're just living life as it is, day by day, and we grow older, the year passes by faster then it every had, you find out youre a year older just by sleeping away time. We grow to become frail, mental, and we become almost like a newborn child by 90. By the time you actually come to your senses, you're months away from becoming senile, a year away from death. Is that when it'll hit us that, we'll die, become forgotten, and in another 100 years, cease to have even walked this earth. Death seems to be near, and even though I wish for death everyday, it doesn't mean I don't fear death. Cause when you die, there's no chance of you coming back, ever.

I hate how life is so difficult sometimes.

Ilovedyou.

2010-10-31T15:00:00.001+08:00

Ahh, reading our chat logs makes me happy~

i just need faith, or maybe someone who has faith in me.

2010-10-29T16:58:00.004+08:00

You won't find faith or hope down a telescope
You won't find heart and soul in the stars
You can break everything, down to chemicals
But you can't explain a love like ours.

The Scripts - Science and Faith

School a waste of bloody time. Kayaking tomorrow, I hope I'll just drown out there.

Day 3 - Parents

Thanks mummy, thanks alot, for one I just needed a pat in the back and you to say I've done well. Just for once, is it that hard? Its not my fault that I'm so dumb, for once I thought you'd be proud of me. And so thanks for brushing me off, exactly like what you did to Elizabeth. You may think that its alright when you say that, thats because you don't see me getting my hopes up high and having them crush back down on me. You just don't really care do you? You just don't get that jokes can break me too.

I was wrong,

maybe not talking to you didn't help to stop me from thinking.

maybe not talking to you made my heart grow founder.

But seems like you don't care anymore.

2010-10-28T21:00:00.002+08:00

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night
Saying things we haven't for a while
We're smiling but we're close to tears
Even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time

The Scripts - For The First Time

Fuck my life,

fuck everything about it.

fuck you,

fuck me.

I'm just so screwed up.

So fucking screwed up.

i'm tired of making excuses of why you're not around.

2010-10-27T20:25:00.005+08:00

She said, some days i feel like shit
somedays i wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit
i don't understand why you have to always feel so long, and
I find myself tryin' to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But when i pick up I don't have much to say, so
I want to know it's a little me fuck up
that i'm stuck here waitn', at times debain'
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family her sing Where'd you go?

Fort Minor - Where'd You Go

Its ironic when you get your hopes up so high and it comes crashing down faster then how you'll ever expect it to. No one really cares, sometimes I just can't get that into my head. There's school tomorrow. Again. My life seems to be trapped in this box, its suffocating me, but I still gotta find ways to survive. I don't want to do the same things I do everyday, wake up, go to school, wait for time to pass. That's exactly what's happening in my life now, and it's beyong boring. Its actually extremely exasperating to me. I just want to cope myself somewhere once in awhile and actually think, what is all these for, what's the meaning of life anyway. And again, there are times I just fantasize to work in a barn or what not, having cute piglets and pigs, cows, sheep, horses. Best yet, they'll always be there for you, not judging, no opinions, and they actually want you ,and that's kinda what I need most. I miss the simplicities of life, those innocent moments, the times when your parents actually cared more about you rather than themselves. They cared more of your well being rather than results. My nose died today, i blew and blew and blew I think my nose works better than the wolf in red riding hood. And following that, i rubbed it with horrid quality tissues, and for the record, i applied tons of Vicks vapourrub? And killed my nose by introducing a burning sensation so unbearable, i just wanted to faint. So thank you vaccinations for your epic side effects. Went Melanie's house to crash, and went home. Oh did I mention I got my report book back. Well, no one really cares anyway. So I shall glue my eyes to gossip girl.

I'm too tired to care.

what could have been.

2010-10-25T21:29:00.004+08:00

Baby you got me, aint nowhere that I'd be
Then with your arms around me
Back and forth you rock me
So I surrender, to every word you whisper
Every door you enter, I will let you in

What's My Name - Rihanna ft. Drake

I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I am not. Cause seriously if you dislike me, just tell me in the face. If you think I'm a dick, live with it cause you want to be my friend. Its a choice I didn't point a gun at your head and forced you to do that. Talk shit about me, but if I had a dick, you'll be the first to blow me. I see no point of changing for anyone, cause its me you befriended with , and its me thats you're gonna get. Not some fucked up bitch trying to curry your favor. I'm totally not looking forward to tomorrow, or any other day in that matter. School a bitch as per normal, least that fucking soldier didn't come and terrorize the school cause he wasn't there. Cleaning the art room and Dnt room was fucked up. Least the nice guy from the Dnt workshop treated us to ice - cream, he's real nice, the school should treat him better. And fire those weird fucked up people working in the GO, they should go for some workshop to train them to become better citizens and stop making people hate them. Cause they have attitude problems worse then me. Oh and next can be the security guards in the world, so many of them are so weirdly wired that their brains malfunction most of the time and they don't even trust anyone. Let alone let students get out of or enter the school without asking fuck loads of questions. And another nice uncle is the one who opens the gate for us, he's so damn nice they should seriously pay him more for wasting his time in school for us ungrateful children and actually being thoughtful for our safety and opens the backgate at 8 pm to make sure we get safely home. The higher ups can just fuck themselves, freaking budget shit, earning thousands a month by just walking around and implementing the weirdest rules around to make sure we're so controlled we'll feel like prisoners. Gosh, rantings make one feel better. Trip's coming faster then expected, just 10 more days. I'll be tortured in the wilderness, but before that gotta survive the school for another 10 days. Oh gosh, I'm just so fedup towards all thats coming up, those stupid decisions made. Me not being able to control my temper about stuffs.

Arg -repents in the corner-

1.57

2010-10-24T13:53:00.002+08:00

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Scripts

Sleepyyyy ): So reluctant to wake up today morning, couldn't focus in church. Kayaking was fun , but extremely tiring. And hateful when you've got seawater rushing into your nose. But it was still awesome ^^ Ate my favourite Chicken rice today! Gosh I've missed it so much. Oh, and vaccinations stopped hurting like finally. So happy, its raining currently and I love the weather now. The haze seriously sucks, I'm waking up and sleeping with a dying nose everyday , Think I'm gonna die if this goes on. Bbq with Chem class was alright, contaminating the swimming pool water was funny~. Smelled like shit after that ): Singing K with Angus Keith Hadi Fel Renyong and Qikang was friggin fun. Hah. Ohkay, Gossip girl time. ^^

Maybe I wouldn't have fallen in love with you

as though you were worth all the pain and heartache in the first place.

I'm letting go.

sharper end. ^^

2010-10-21T20:08:00.003+08:00

All of the things that I wanna say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping in words
You got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

You and Me - Lifehouse

RachelAnnTeo! I've blogged , happy? (L)

School was stupid, pushing table tennis tables was funny. Taking vaccinations with Chuana Anguaand Renyong with Keithand Wenci was hilarious. Couldn't top laughing after the jab although there was nothing funny going on.. LOL. But it still sucked, right arm is dead ): Took Hap A and Influenza on left hand, took typhoid on right. Typhoid is killer, hurts like cows now. Bathing is one of the hardest things i've done in years. -palm- Missed 2 88s with Chuana and Wenci thanks to bread. LOL. And went to meet Campcraft team at J8. There's no school tomorrow!!!!! Awesome sheetz. 2 more weeks to go, hang on people, we're gonna make it through just fine. Slepy, hah. Oh well, dinner was awesome :D

heh, not thinking right.

Ilikeyou,youcantreciprocatethatcanyou.

2010-10-19T21:42:00.002+08:00

If you knew how many nights
I've been sitting by your bed
running fingers through your hair
while you're asleep.
Everytime I call your name
or softly whisper in your ear
You turn around to look for me
and no one's there
Where ever you are
Where ever you go
I'll be around just want you to know

Exam papers done for checking, and I'm kinda satisfied with my results. Chuana, stop being in exams distress and ok about these stuffs. Haha, shop till you drop!!! :) Ohkay, and wel, I Friggin passed History, you have no idea how much i feel like flying when I saw my friggin marks. Oh, went sentosa on Sunday, didn't get black! :D HAPPY SHITZ~ Went to watch takers with 2e3'09 on Monday, AJ IS SUPER HAWT! And I'm back to Gossip girl spam-age. Happy. LOL. Have to take 4 freaking vaccinations omfg, damn depressed now. Hope they'll poke my butt or something so it wouldn't hurt too much. And the fascination of becoming a mutant if I take all 4 shots at once is totally over whelming. I'm not really keen into becoming a turtle.

MT - B3 Emath - A1 (Omfg first time!) Amath - B3 Science - A1 English - A2 Combine Humans - B4 (wtf curse ss) History - A1

Yeap, thats it :D Gonna celebrate cause its over and I'm no longer stressed about anything.

..................

2010-10-18T20:39:00.002+08:00

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Lucky - Jason Mraz ft Colbie Caillat

I'm addicted to Glee Gossip Girl Survivor Amazing Race its insaneeeee. Oh, & my chin hurts from the Frisbee ): Gosh back to school tomorrow, arg, the feeling is depressing. Whats best, results are coming back. Freak it, I'm gonna failfailfailfail like a friggin' cow. There goes my play time, my after exams enjoyments. Pshhhh. Mahjong is so damn fun!!! Ohkay, I'm still sleepy after a 3 hour nap, horrible.

Kinda tired.

2010-10-18T00:14:00.001+08:00

Are we gonna touch on that? No, we aren't. Ever.

2010-10-15T21:50:00.001+08:00

From now on, I won't care cause you don't care. Makes sense?

whats your best?

2010-10-13T19:10:00.001+08:00

Your traces that my heart is filled with
Makes me able to breathe
When the long night is colored by the moonlight
Will the inescapable wait all end?
I wish for a miracle and ask and answer myself

Oh, I can’t tell you about me
Who wants to reach your heart
Like the starlight hidden behind the cold clouds
I love you, in the end, this painful confession
That lingers at the edge of my lips slide down in tears

Shinee - Quasimodo

Exams are over, finally. Somehow, after being friggin over the moon for afew hours, I feel nothing but emptiness inside me. Well, its great to get away from that military school for awhile, I mean, it's been such a bore and it was disgusting just to be in that school. Facing those teachers who doesn't have the least sense of how miserable we feel thanks to all their new implementations of weird, totally out of the extraordinary horrid scheme to make us good citizens. My fucking ass, seriously. Maybe finally the consequences of not studying for exams are hitting me, I know I'm not gonna get good grades. I've been far too lazy. But I really did study for this examinations this time, I rejected the urge to use comp, and to actually get a book, hide in the room and study. But seriously when I flunk this time, I'll know that studying comes to no good end. I've given my best, or so i thought, but the pure fruits of labor are nothing but junk. And when your best equals to nothing, absolutely nothing. What will come of all these in the end, getting good grades, getting great jobs. Where's all the happiness in life gone to? Time's being wasted on computers and books, all the dead things, I needa get out of this box and actually live a life. Dont give a damn of what others think of you, a bitch a slut, liar. Attention seeking bastard, seriously, life's not about just making the people around you happy, you gotta make yourself happy too sometimes. You know what, I'm just real depressed after listening to quasimodo and reading on a confession of someone who just accepted Christ as her savior. When will I ever be ready to let my heart out to trust in him. Trusting in someone you have not seen and have no way to prove, isn't that the biggest trust you can give. I wonder what would come tomorrow, I just can't stand the sight of seeing anything related to you. & I'm real sleepy. I need story books to read, now.

Take me away

to somewhere far away

where the lands are lost

where souls are forgiven.

Sick

2010-10-09T19:08:00.003+08:00

I hated opening my eyes
Honestly, I didn’t believe it
Because this last good bye
Was so unfamiliar
I only heard my sudden sighs
I’m scared and my heart is bound
How can I believe you,
When you said goodbye without any notice?

My feet won’t move from the spot

This day feels like a lie

A side of my chest hurts so much

T

he ring that I placed on your finger

Has coldly returned to my hand

Along with my heart

The last gift
Is heartbreak

Last Gift - Shinee

I've Blogged RTSQ, happy? ^^ (L) you.

I'm sciences dead ttm ): Can't even do the simplest type of Chem or Physics questions, who can help me ): Gonna literally die on Monday. &&, who the heack puts 2 consecutive humanities together. Pshhh, my brains gonna explode without a doubt. And maths! Oh maths, who in the world created trigo huh, why so desperate for us to learn these nonsense stuff that we can't even apply in our life. I don't think architects have to prove trigo identities right. ffff. Crazy people desperate to make money and torture us kids. GTH. I'm SHINee fanatic again :) Their Hello is so sweet and nice~ (L) SHINee ttm :D Can't seem to get myself off the computer/ -palm. I should seriously pluck off the stupid broadband thing and force myself to study or something. 4 More days to go till i self-declare holidays. ^^ Gonna celebrate like the world's ending when I get there. For now, I shall be deprived of Glee for the moment ): -cries- Ohkay, gonna watch shows. BYE~

Idiot.

Stop keeping me awake at nights.

I hate that ability of yours.

Sa2! Go die

2010-10-08T17:39:00.003+08:00

It's not my first time to be honest
I've loved and broken up before
But it's hard, please believe these words
You are different

Shinee - Hello

Crazy to the maximummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

Piss it. Why am I still watching show now. ):

English [x] Chinese [x] Chemistry [ ] Physics [ ] Emath Paper 1 [x] Emath Paper 2 [ ] Amath [ ] History [ ]

Geography [ ] Social Studies [x]

4down, 6 to go. Fml :D Screwed past few papers, so goodluck to that red filled report book of mine. Oh and I don't know what to stud for geog, I'm gonna screw sciences, and I'm still watching shows now. -palm- Sa2 Ending in exactly 5 days counting from today. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shall self declare holiday on Wednesday right after my listening compre paper. ^.^ GOODLUCK TO EVERYONE HAVING EXAMS! Gonna eat dinner, hungry sheet.

第一次是偶然

第二次是必然

第三次是命中注定

(L)

fine

2010-10-01T22:57:00.001+08:00

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk
Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Only Exception - Paramore

Jealous jealous jealous jealous jealous jealous jealous jealous jealous fucking jealous. happy =.=

Have fun with her damnit. My brains screwing me up right now, exhausted. And my msn can't stop going haywire. Neither can my comp. Sucks. Amath test on Monday, fml ttm.

Squares.

2010-09-28T21:18:00.001+08:00

Hello Beautiful
How's it going
I hear it's wonderful
In California
I've been missin' you
It's true

But tonight, I'm gonna fly
Yeahh tonight, I'm gonna fly..
Cause I could go across the world
And see everything, and never be satisfied
If I couldn't see those eyes

Hello Beautiful
It's been a long time
Since my phone's rung
And you've been on that line
I've been missing you
It's true

But tonight, I'm gonna fly
Yeahh tonight, I'm gonna fly..oh yeahh
Cause I go across the world
And see everything, and never be satisfied
If I couldn't see those eyes

Jonas Brothers - Hello Beautiful

hah. awesome. Just plain awesome.

2010-09-25T17:15:00.003+08:00

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna, come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know
Singin?, come out upon my seas
Curse missed opportunities
Am I, a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease

Clocks - Coldplay

Pshh, why aren't I mugging ): &&,why can't I keep my mind off you. I need to mug like nowwwwww, holding a book drives me insane, sheet. I need to off my computer and stuff and just lock myself in a room from all the electronics and mug. I do not understand geog at all, or any other subject that I'm taking. So screw this. Yesterday yesterday yesterday, I can't even remember what happened, passed by in a blur. Imy ): Gosh what have I done. -palm. I need food. K random sheet, my mind just isn't concentrating right now. )':

Sheet

sheet

talk to me will you.

Just so I won't let my mind stray off any further.

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame?

2010-09-23T19:56:00.003+08:00

Your traces that my heart is filled with
Makes me able to breathe
When the long night is colored by the moonlight
Will the inescapable wait all end?
I wish for a miracle and ask and answer myself

Oh, I can't tell you about me
Who wants to reach your heart
Like the starlight hidden behind the cold clouds
I love you, in the end, this painful confession
That lingers at the edge of my lips slide down in tears

This arrow that's reached my heart
Feels like a part of my body now
Even though it hurts to death
I can't remove you, who's stuck in my heart
Because it's love
Because for me, it's love

Even if I can't have you
In the end, even when my heart is blocked
By the wall of sad connection
I love you, if it's a place
where I can just watch you
Because you're my everything

I stay up for so many nights
When the starlight becomes rain
That doesn't stop like my tears
Remember that I loved you

SHINee - Quasimodo

Awesome song, seriously ):

Todays was nice, dinner was nice too. School was nice, throwing away my shoes was nice too. Gosh everything's kinda nice today isn't it. I shall watch my favorite show now. Oh did I mention, English test tomorrow, and Chinese SA2 is on Tuesday, and I'm not prepared at all. Please, I pray to pass.

I love the way we snuggle.

Beautiful melody

2010-09-21T19:40:00.003+08:00

Don't promise me for ever,
just love me day by day.
No one knows the future,
we're young, but that's OK.
'Cause you'll allways be a part of me,
whatever life will bring.
And people have to bear with you,
this silly song i sing.

Alexander Rybak - Funny Little World

Morning.School.After School.Home.Sleep. And the cycle repeats itself. Ohwtf ):

I am a moody person today ): Who had quite a nice afternoon. Oh, and school's out early tomorrow, bad thing is, its a Wednesday and its just 2 hours earlier then normal, so it really doesn't make much of a difference if they don't let us out early. Ahh, but can't complain about that either. I don't even know what I'm gonna do after school tomorrow ); Bored out of my wits. And I haven't started studying -palm- been trying to do that, but it never seems to work, and I 'wanna sleep half the time, like now. You know I think I'd gaining more weight than I have in years. At the rate I'm eating, I'm gonna be some fat-ass by the end of the year. an't even survive without lunch now, what is becoming of me -dreads- This is NOT a good sign people. I cannot believe i'm actually blogging like this again, sleepy much. Alright, screw studying and blogging, gonna catch my awesome yet nonsensical show. Bleh.

);

2010-09-20T20:39:00.004+08:00

Hey, gotta be strong, gotta be strong
But, I'm really hurting now that your gone
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But, I didn't get pass the door and
Now I don't know, now I don't know
If I'm ever gonna let you go
And I couldn't even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it

Tshirt - Shontelle

I'm focusing and filling my mind up with all the cruel words I can think of to say to you. But the moment I see you, my mind just goes 'Wow, how did I fall in love with this guy over and over again.'

ILY. Surprised?

11:11

2010-09-19T19:49:00.002+08:00

Yeap, Sponge bob just made my day.

I just hope you'll ask me that again. And if you do, I promise I will.

My stomach's churning , cookie disaster.

sorry.

2010-09-18T21:35:00.003+08:00

When the moon is gone forever
I hope you're up there somewhere
I'll see you again
Be with you my friend
'Cause all the roads they lead to where you are
And all the streetlights shine like they were stars
That's where you are
Let's spend tonight on top of the world
And we can do anything,
We can be anything
I'll meet you tonight on top of the world
As real as it seems,
You're only in my dreams

Top of the World - Boys like Girls

You can't control life, you can only live your life. And you can live it in anyway you want in that you can choose your feelings about the people around you. And whats going on around you , so live it like that. Give up trying to control it and live it, live it to the fullest. Life is good, whether you're happy or not. The pursuit of happiness is just a waste of time, so forget about being happy. What is happiness anyway? other then being surrounded by the people who love you. And you cant choose the way they love you, you can only choose to feel the love. Feel the love, is a wonderful time in your life if you choose to see it that way, and as far as al the mistakes go, is anything really a mistake? or are mistakes just lessons? Everyone makes mistakes, life is a school, a learning process, and some mistakes are more painful than others, but thats just how it is. The sum total of our experiences, is what makes us who we are, all good experiences would not result in becoming the strong interesting, beautiful person that you are. So give yourself a break.

Yesterday had been one of the best days of my life. Love The Epics.

I'l

l see you again.

THE EPICS!

2010-09-16T22:12:00.002+08:00

Take my hand tonight
We can run so far
We can change the world to anything we want
We can talk for hours just staring at the stars
They shine down to show us

That you know when the sun forgets to shine
I'll be there to hold you through the night
we'll be running so fast we can fly tonight
And even when we're miles and miles apart
You're still holding all of my heart
I promise it will never be dark
I know. we're inseparable

Jonas Brothers - Inseparable

I can't believe I'm posting now!

So anyway, the past few days have been so busy, maths mock test, chinese test, dance dance dance. Gosh so excited :D Dance performance is tomorrow!!! After days of hardcore practice and nonsense choreography we came up with an 8 minutes dance. Awesome right, my legs are dead, and I have muscles aches EVERYWHERE. I can't believe I can still walk. So I'm actually dead tired now, but my hair doesn't seem to wana dry, so I'm here blogging. Tomorrows gonna be freaking exciting and awesome, goodluck all The Epics(Angus,Hadi,Keith,Qikang,RenYong,JasmineOw,JasmineOh,Vanessa,ChuaNa,Felicia,TeoJing,Dominique,Vienna,Me)!!!! We're gonna put up a great show thanks to days of hard work, like seriously HARD work. Esp for those who came everyday and took the time to choreograph the dance.

So I'm too tired to even continue blogging.

Bye people.

2010-09-11T00:25:00.003+08:00

4972.) I want to cut myself so deep and taste it. I want to put it in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and eat it. As gross as it sounds, cutting is all that keeps me from killing myself.

4970.) I lie to make people happy.

4965.) Sometimes I wish you’d just grab me and kiss me spontaneously, like they do in films.

4933.) I need someone to make me cry. Then I might feel better. He hurt me so badly, but I don’t feel upset. I don’t feel angry or sad. I just feel nothing. So I’m being mean to people, to my friends, in the hope that maybe they’ll hurt me back and every bit of emotion will just pour out in the tears.

4918.) I’ve liked you for a year. I dedicated a whole year of my life to you. And I doubt I’m on your mind more than an hour.

4905.) I wish the ‘esc’ button worked in reality. Then I could click it every time I see you with somebody else. I love you. I love you so much it’s breaking my heart. I love you, and it’s killing me.

4882.) Never would l have thought it was possible to have too many friends. l am one of those people who believe that life is not worth living unless you are surrounded by people you love. lt’s hard having a lot of people you care for, though. Your heart is constantly looking out for them, missing them, crying or smiling for them. l wish l could be a better friend and let every one of them know that l love them dearly, every second of every day. Truth is, l’m scared of losing them; l’m scared of them losing their love for me. l feel guilty for writing this but most of all, I feel guilty for not giving them all the care and attention they deserve.

Blogconfessions

fuck yes no wtv. it drives me insane.

2010-09-09T22:05:00.008+08:00

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye
And now I know how far you'd go

I Will Be - Avril Lavigne

Day 2 - Your Crush

Awesome, just what I needed today huh.

So well, lets say he's an asshole.

So anyway,

I hate how things seem to be now.

and so..

2010-09-08T23:45:00.008+08:00

Day 1 - Your Best friend.

Well, since I'm determined to do this, lets start.

Best friend huh, well there's afew I actually regard as my best friends, though I dont really know if they feel the same too. So anway, here goes.

Heyyyy, have I told you how much I missed talking to you like the old days? How much I hate this year cause Im no longer in the same class as you, and we don't really interact with each other anymore. You've changed alot, like really alot, till the state that I don't even know who I'm talking to when I talk to you. Maybe cause you're just no longer the way I though you should be, oh well. I know I've changed too, but its kinda sad, you know that feeling? When I wana tell you something, you just brush it off like its nothing. Well, i think I shouldn't say much to you anymore.Since you wouldn't be reading this anyway. But I love you still, and youre still my best friend, but am I yours?

Hello baby, I'm grateful to have known you this year. To be able to spend time with you and know you better. And I love your company and how you rant your stuff at me. Love the way you draw on my hand and he way you complain about your cramps everyday. I can't really open up towards you or anyone else though, but I still tell you stuff I don' tell others. Youre awesome in your many little ways, and thank you for being there when I need someone, and listening to my nonsensical nonsense most of the time. Love you.

To the one I've known since forever. Heyy bb. You know I really miss the good old days, whenever we play catching as a bunch of rowdy students in the parade square, have enjoyable lessons with Mr Sim, when everything seemed so much more fun. When you still stayed here, and we can get together every night and play till the cow comes home. Going to blk 9 and 7-11, playing those childish games at the playground and blk catching. Going 7-11 to get our cup noodles for dinner or lunch as a clique. Talking about what secondary schools we could go together and join basketball together, pwning other schools and stuff. I missed the time where you seem so much happier then you are now, when we weren't obsessed with things we want rather just to play and live each day as it is. I missed how we would call each other every night and talk for hours till I get chased to bed, and I miss singing on the phone with you and getting laughing feats. Or talking till we would just fall asleep without knowing. Having conference with 8 or more people at a time with everyone trying to say something. Going cycling together and creating chaos. Injuring ourselves while fooling around,riding to Kimmie's house to play with Doi. Chasing Doi downstairs barefooted whenever he runs down. Gosh I miss those days. Most importantly, I miss you. Love you forever.

I still don't have the courage to write it out as it is. And I can't believe I'm not even sleepy. So anyway, I'll see what I can do now, so bye peeps.

Get me through the day.

2010-09-08T13:13:00.005+08:00

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Angels Cry - Mariah Carey ft Ne-Yo

I'm not gonna spend my life chasing people, you wana leave? Fine then, go ahead. 'Cause I'm done with chasing and caring for people who never had interest in me. Nothing lasts and people change. I've learned love is hard and life is strange.

I missed school today thanks to the laziness I was born with, and of course I always have the weather to blame for. Because it was raining cats and dogs out there, I foresee the bus stop at school would be horribly flooded, this I shall not risk getting drenched and soaked when I reach school. Makes sense? Of course it does, its a way to make myself feel less guilty for not going to school cause I'm lazy. Miss Pang's gonna go through covalent bonding today, and I don't know nothing about that, so pray hard I can understand it while watching Naruto at home. Sometimes, I hope all teachings will be done the Anime way, it'll create so much more fun. I had an awesome dream last night anyway, again I'm too lazy to tell everything about it, just know that I was eating lots of fried chickens in my dream. See the awesome-ness now? Anyway, I'll just rot at home for the rest of the day, trying to do the rest of the homework thats left with my all so pitiful , dead brain. So goodbye.

Oh and anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANNEN M-OK!

Thanks for the past 5 years you've given me, and I truly treasured it. Love you so much and sorry for not going out with you today. Hope you have a great 15th birthday. I'll get you something soon okay. Lovelovelove you baby. See you soon.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

I'm gonnagonnagonna do this!

I.AM. DETERMINED.

oh great.

2010-09-07T13:26:00.003+08:00

Well, who can deny that sometime's lifes a bitch. I really hate homework. Always do, always will. Oh, and I went to school late today, hate the fact they're building some shot watch channel thing there and I had to walk a thousand miles till I finally reached that bloody school.

Did I mention this? I'm terribly hungry now, no one seems to care though.

imagination is more important than the knowledge.

2010-09-06T18:53:00.006+08:00

I Throw My Hands Up In The Air Sometimes,
Saying Ay-Oh, Gotta Let go.
I wanna celebrate and live my life,
Saying Ay-Oh, Baby Let's Go.
Cause we gon rock this club,
We gon' go all night,
We gon' light it up,
Like it's dynamite.
Cause I told you once,
Now I told you twice,
We gon light it up,
Like it's dynamite.

Taio Cruz - Dynamite

Have I told you?

I love dogs, they're extremely adorable. Chocolates are the best things every to be sold in this world, makes me happy half the time. I'm madly obsessed with eating bananas these days its irritating. I think the colour blue is the nicest colour on earth cause it covers the world, all its pain and misery seems to be taken away with the clouds in the vast blue sky, swept away by the currents of the deep blue sea. I like sleeping with loads of pillows by my side, and I have a blanket that has accompanied me throughout the 15 years of my life.I have a very bad temper which never wants to change and I hate myself for that. I can't stand a day not using the computer now cause I'm clinically proven to be obsessed. Oh, and I like furballs :D

Todays boring, finished watching unriddle, the ending sucked hell loads, but overall the show rocked. Science chem tomorrow, I'm so depressed and sad now cause I got to wake up at 8. But still, I wana pass chem you know. Rained today, happy and thankful for that, finally the weather's more awesome. Haven't started on holiday homework, kinda screwed, can't get my head in the game. Holidays seem pathetic when you got homework piled up for you to complete. Feeling random today ):

Bye suckers.

I'm tired, but that isn't an excuse isit?

2010-09-05T22:13:00.004+08:00

But I'm not a player,
I'm not a clown,
I wont be a puppet,
Just hangin around,
You need another man to put diamonds on your hands,
And let you take his car,
I found out who you are,
I finally figured you out,

Backstreet Boys - Figured You Out

I can't believe I'm still awake now. My brain is literally shutting down,beyond the words of exhausted, but unwilling to sleep. Camp was kinda screwed for me, pissed everyone off though I told myself not to. Pms takes over the soul. Rather not say sorry anymore cause saying too much of it causes the word to lose its meaning in the end doesn't it. My temper's getting from bad to worse, words just shoot up like machine guns before it actually goes through that complicated process of my brain trying to understand what I've said. I'm so drowsy most of the time I cant even understand what I'm saying. Okay I really need sleep now, so I'll try to drag my feet to bed now. Goodnight whoever's out there reading my nonsensical posts.

Goodnight!

You know, its funny when you say that, cause when you really see me, you treat me almost as invisible. Just like what you did before. It'll never change will it, so I'll stop thinking about it as long as you stop talking to me.

Take me back.

2010-09-02T21:07:00.012+08:00

Tonight I'm falling and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

Tonight - Fm Static

A sad, mean, jealous, self-centered person.

Isn't that all that I've been made up from. One pathetic miserable soul, into this world, feeling the deadliest sins ever, going through all these pain and misery to form that one person I've become, a mean and self centered fag. What made me into this, I would blame the surroundings, but isn't it one's mind that controls what you really want to be, what you really want to achieve, and how to control your heartfelt emotions. Getting jealous about the littlest things that aren't even worth mentioning, hurting others just to fulfill your littlest fantasies, to make yourself feel a little better then you were, just for a second. And in the end, you'll go back into your sad world, having only pity for yourself and no one else. Get a life, stop the vulgarities, but for that fraction of a second that very hurtful words leave this giant unthinking mouth of mine, things go back to just like how it was before, chaotic, noisy, vulgar. Being optimistic or pessimistic depends on what you really want inside, not anything else but only you. I'm trying so hard to be pessimistic and angry over nothing at all, literally nothing it drives me to the wall. I would love to say its the weather that's screwing my head, frying my brains in one way or another, but it isn't, its all just me and my jealousy, my self centered-ness and all those shit I think I really want. Would these matter in a year or two? I doubt so, but would these stuff that I do now affect what is going to happen next? Maybe, maybe not. But there's always this slight possibility, a teeny bit that bugs your guilty conscious, about the wrong doings and the things you could have not done, if not for that sinful heart of yours thats thinking to make the worst out of everything. So now, I've just got to start thinking straight and be optimistic, cause if thats what I wana be, I'm gonna make it happen. Today was a rainy day, but the rainbows always come out after the rain. I love life.

Take a step,

you may find a whole new world.

its sad.

2010-09-01T19:14:00.003+08:00

Love you cuz you are every single star,
In the constellation that's enlightening my heart,
Special gift from Jah, wherever you are (yes),
Girl you got more presence than a hundred santa clauses,
And I know (I know) we'll stand together when the world falls down (falls down, yeah),
And I know (I know) that our forever's gonna start right now (right now, yeah).

Laza Morgan - This Girl

Because, we're all so very very sad.

Today was alright, warm day though. Craved for famous amos the whole day till I got it. Bought hell loads of tidbits cause I felt so hungry, and then I ate them all in a jiffy. Watched 7 episodes of Unriddle, went out for awhile, came home, continued watching. I'm burning in my chair already, omgawd the weather sucks, seriously. School tomorrow, gosh, life is so sickening. Holidays coming soon, but before that, I've got to go through another 3 days of camp torture to earn that 7 days of holidays. Can't wait for OBS outing! Miss everyone so much, I wish we could just meet up right now and relive all the fun we had that 5 days. We'll I shall continue watching my drama, its awesome.

Stay down,

stay low.

I still wonder how am I suppose to feel about this. I think I really like you though, wonder if you feel that way too. Stop seeming so nice towards me, you drive my imagination crazy. I wish I could give you up again, just like how I did months ago, when you weren't so nice. When we didn't meet each other so often, and you don't act so caring and offer to do stuff. Well, I think I love you. I really do.

2010-08-31T20:51:00.001+08:00

I wana tell you something, and then I remember, oh ya, the you now won't fucking care.

let it all out.

2010-08-31T19:18:00.007+08:00

Like meories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky
God save us everyone
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns
For the sins of our hand
The sins of our son
The sins of our father
The sins of our young

Linkin Park - Catalyst

What the fuck do you see in this?

After 5 days of not blogging, I'm actually back blogging, how awesome. Today was a bomb, friggin' embarrassing this morning, did crappy job, but had an enormous amount of fun :D Proved that past 3 days of hard work and muscle aches paid off, and though I embarrassed myself on stage, it was still awesome.

Went for Npcc games day on saturday, played captains ball, which was supposed to be netball, won everyone, after lots of crap with Bps, we still won Gold :D Got to see a circular rainbow circling the sun at R.I. Went to eat Macs after that, died in the hot sun. Went hub to meet Angus and gang after that, decided to go his house to practice. Came up with nonsensical steps together, remixed the song and practiced. Awesome tiring day, was dead beat by the time I reached home. Sunday, went to Tp at 2, met Angus and the rest, went the shelter near his place to design the vanguards and practiced. Got bored of practicing, so we played football with a bunch of kids. Gosh I nearly yanked the head of that mad fat ass boy, hate him to the max please. Practiced afew times again after that, and went home. Had muscles aches and slept really well cause I was exhausted. Monday, went school as normal, ate alot for lunch, hungry shait, went to practice at 3.30 in the hall again, wrote emcee script with Maggie and didn't practiced at all ( this explains the screwed performance today) Epics didn't have much time to practice too, but well done anyway. Went home with (r). Today! Was awesome, seriously, pissed off in the morning, (sorry) practiced emcee with Maggie and dance with Epics for alittle while. Everyone came in earlier then expected, so panicked like a cow. Was sweating before anything even started, screwed emcee speech cause the modern dancers were missing. LOL. Had fun dancing with Epics, though we mad a fool of ourselves O: Cleared the cake, got so sick of eating it, and went to get the impromptu banner down, so bloody budget the bloody pivot screw also dont wana replace, so we took like 1 hour to get the thing down. Went back to pri school, ate hell loads again, I love eating :D

Sooooooooooo, i hate the weather, so freak it. bye.

RAIN NOW PLEASE.

You know whats the irony?
you don't even reply when I talk to you,

let least i talk to you about how my day was.

Its just as good as talking to a friggin wall.

i hope it'll fade away.

2010-08-26T21:43:00.005+08:00

I'm getting butterflies
I'm floating on a dream
Now my world starts spinning
My heart pounds
So happy that I could cry
When I look in your eyes
Cause you keep giving me
Keep giving me butterflies

Butterflies - Tone Damli

Hello. To whoever that has nothing to do and is out there somewhere reading my all so boring, blog about my all so boring unfulfilling life. And so, did I mention how Common test was a wreak ? I failed English, awesome right, I was so traumatized i kept repeating the same thing till others got irritated. Sorry people. Passed all my subject papers except English, failed by 0.5 marks, seriously, how more awesome can my all so pathetic life be. Oh, and I went to watch Step Up 3D yesterday, which was so awesomely nice, and cool, and the dance moves are just sleek! Please watch it, worth all the money :D Yesterday was a happy day~ The days before, well, was pretty much a wreak. Monday and Tuesday, spent half my life training Np stuff, Wednesday, meeting for testers, which ended relatively early, but still. I'm really suppose to be reading a book now, but ChuaNa just can't get off my back to blog, she's real crazy. Npcc uniform's a pain to prepare, I'm so lazy to even iron it, putting on the badges drives me crazy, well it drives me insane actually. Tomorrow's promotion test for the rest! Goodluck to everyone, goodluck to those future Sergeants under me. Goodluck to those sicko Sec1s, Goodluck for those Lance Corporals. Just Goodluck to everyone! Today was high shit, had inter-class games after school, played benchball, 3e2 got 1st in the first round, which was happy, I screamed till my voice died. Then we got last for the next game, LOLED. But it was one after another, so we were exhausted. Cheered back from indoor sports hall to canteen, looked like a bunch of weirdos. Played heart attack and concentration, which made me scream even more, so kinda voice dead now. Anyway I really want to hug my pillows now, so goodbye.

Sometimes,

its wrong to walk away.

inspirational

2010-08-23T22:13:00.002+08:00

Its really nice.

2010-08-23T22:00:00.002+08:00

Too lazy to blog today, just gotta know, it was really bad and tiring.

And I can't wait for Step Up 3!

what if i

2010-08-22T22:26:00.005+08:00

So what if I dive off the edge of my life
And there's nothing beneath?
What if i live like there's nothing to lose
Just to die on my knees?
At least I'll know
I walked the dark
I took the scars
I risked it all
And learned to love the fall

Love the fall - Michael Paynter ft. The Veronicas

Past few days were a blur. Common test was screwed, most certainly. There only a few papers worth rejoicing for, the rest just sends me crazy. YOG for Mens trampoline was awesome crack nuts, they were certainly hot, drives me insane just thinking about it. Go Ukraine, they won Gold, winning China by 0.3 points (Y). Went for Road Marshall duty yesterday morning, really dread waking up cause I had only 7 hours of sleep compared to the 12 i need during Saturdays. But it was all worthwhile when i saw the food catered for us, tasted like heavens :D Went home, slacked, bathed and went to meet Chuana at 4.30. We were late by the time we reached Farrer Park, luckily Ariel didn't demanded $1 per minute late. I thought Fel was wearing a friggin' short skirt, turned out it was just some kinda fluffy shorts. Went to Mel's party, went to her teevee room, which I got to know a new friend, the 'chair'. He was beside me for more then an hour, which made me insanely happy. Ate, played murderer, which was almost like reliving class chalet, watched Yog on teevee. Ate again, watched White Chicks, friggin funny, Lmao. Went home at 9+. Reached home at 11. Stupid, I wonder why I took so long anyway. Fell asleep in the bus, and suddenly woke up to freak out that I was already at my stop,so flew down.

Bathed and slept almost instantly, woke up today for church. But went back to sleep when I was about to change, so I was late for church. Home, tuition, watch movie, watch Yog, study, use comp.

Yes, my life is so awesome.

Anyway, MY w hole week is Npcc taken I feel so deprived. Well lets see, Monday -Npcc, Tuesday - Npcc, Wednesday - Npcc Briefing, Thursday - FREE OMFG, Friday - Npcc promotion test, Saturday - Npcc Games day. How happy can I get? Extremely.

You do the same thing to every single person. Whats the point seriously.

I cannot believe I'm still awake.

Screw this.

TRAMPOLINE

2010-08-21T14:19:00.002+08:00

THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE!

Fantasizes over Canadian and German guys.

Gonna blog tonight :D

(L)(L)(L)

Happy birthday baby

2010-08-16T20:34:00.005+08:00

I miss missing you, sometimes
I miss hurting you 'til you cry
I miss watching you as you try
Try not to end up in tears
Begging to get back together
I just want you to be
To be stuck in a circuit forever
So don't freak out if i leave

The Saturdays - Missing you

Todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Is nonsense. Screwed Chinese like a freaking mad cow. I am not ready for, English, Chem, Phy, Ss, Emath tests. Life rocks, its so cool my brains about to explode out of its skull.

Ms Pang didn't come to school today, so didn't have 2.30 lessons. Happy dude, no actually I was overjoyed :D At 4.30 Sent Mudder home, then boarded the bus, while she dragged Ren away, and the bus door closed, so had to wait for him at the school bus stop, stupid. Mudder gave us Fererro Roche? THANKS. Went back to school, study! Awesome right, and I spammed the wrong person, thanks to that stupid Ren. And I actually double confirmed with him. Gosh. Rained cats and dogs after that, sucks. Rachel came out at last, went to the same bus stop, and then went home :D

My cousin's hamsters are tiny fat furballs! And they can't stop climbing the damn cage, cute!!!! I want another hamster too ): Depressed. I need to study Phy and Chem soon! Don't wana fail this time round, English tomorrow too, screwed.

Anyway, to end this fabulous post.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

MELANIE WONG BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

You're such a bitch slut and everything.

I love you so much! 3 years alreadyyyy. Lets see,36 months, 1095 days, 26280 hours, 1576800 minutes, 94608000 seconds, and still counting :D Thanks for listening to my crap day and night, being there when I needed someone. Though things changed this year, I still love you. I don't love you like I did during sec1 or 2. But I love you a hell lot more. Be happy all the time, have fun, and goodluck for your Cts.

15 already!!!!!!!!!! (L)(L)(L)

No matter how many times I'd die

2010-08-14T20:23:00.007+08:00

There's always something in the way
There's always something getting through
but it's not me it's You, it's You
sometimes ignorance rings true
but hope is not in what I know

I find peace when I'm confused
I find hope when I'm let down
Not in me, in You ,it's in you
I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find it in the end not in me

Switchfoot - You

The question whether this sick society, which we call the western civilization, could in its extremity still cast up a man whose faith in it was so great that he would voluntarily abandon those things which men hold good, including life, to defend it. -Whittaker Chambers

Faith was a scam, hope was a lie, love was an illusion. Power, sex and money -these three- were the real, the only stuff in life.

I hate this. I can never seem to get my head into studying, unwilling to even flip open a book, I'm still here blogging. No matter how I tell myself to try, get a book and study, my body stays reluctant to move an inch.

Got up at 7 today, I hate waking up early, especially on weekends, the feeling just drives me crazy. Went to school, Ms Pang already started lesson when I got there, Chem was a pain, I couldn't absorb, not at all. Left after the first session, got home and ate. Tuition till 1, and I just went to sleep though I told myself to study chemistry, how great. Woke up at 2.30 to pee, but decided to go back to sleep, woke up at 4 finally. Used comp, watched Leap Year, bathed. Finally, started doing Emath homework, but I didn't know how to do, so I stopped, switched on my desktop, started using the computer again. Gosh my life rocks doesn't it, if I can even pass 1 subject next week, the sky would fall. I'm still telling myself to study now, but I won't move an inch, man this is so vexing.

You're such a manhole. Sometimes I wish I can ignore you texts and treat your very existence as invisible. When I finally thought I could get over everything, youre screwing me again. I honestly don't care even if you die now. Fuck you.

I need to start getting my head straight.

Free Soul

2010-08-13T22:05:00.007+08:00

What did I say the very first time it happened?
I said where is he now and what do you want me do to?
Why did you tell me no, why were you protecting him?
When all I was trying to do, was protect you.

Brandy Ft. Ne-Yo - Too Little Too Late.

OMG. I'm so freaking tired right now I just wana drop on my bed and conk out till tomorrow night.

Sadly, my hair refuses to dry, feets are hurting like I've walked a thousand miles, and I have freaking chemistry tomorrow. Oh my life is rocket science. Exhausted, screwed NP today like crap, seriously screwed. Well, today was okay. Had badminton for PE, I like it still, but my stamina's really dying. Its like a dying bird trying to fly. Amath, screwed. I didn't even know how to do the first question, dude, this sucks. After school made me perspire like a cow, I wish sometimes I wont perspire so much, its irritating. Went NP room, polished shoe, (Thanks Yiyi, :D:D You rock) then went to English lesson. So freaking boring,that stupid girl left me there and let me rot and die in the 1 hour. I was playing testris with JiaYin's besta dictionary. Fun dude, I wasn't even listening in class. Went for NP, took the secondary ones, noisy people, but it was fun :D Had First Class Drill badge test, screwed it. Timings screwed, commands screwed, if anyone can pass, the sky would fall and the sun will rise from the west. After Np, panicked like mad, cause everyone was dismissed before I could ask them for their attendance. Went sumo house to eat , famished by the time we reached there. (Y) cheap food. LOL. Shufen treated Koi cafe after that! (thanks Wenyao's gf!) But it's killing me. I just finished the milk tea, after 2 hours. The pearls were killers, and Sue said one pearl was 12 calories(one cup contains a gazzilion of them ): ), I think I have to go back to OBS to lose that kinda weight. Home, at last. Now I'm just dying of exhaustion, and I just wana sleep. Chemisty tomorrow at 8, tuition at 10.30. Suddenly everything seems so gloomy. One week of tests are finally over, how I look forward to next weeks one more week of damn torture. And my life will be revived! I'M SLEEPY.

Okay, I seriously think I am dying, and I have to dry my undry-able hair now. Bye people.

RTSQ I (L) you okay ):

Oh life's so miserable.

i look, i stare, i see nothing.

2010-08-10T22:17:00.004+08:00

You know I know how
To make em stop and stare as I zone out
The club can't even handle me right now
Watchin you I'm watchin you we go all out
The club can't even handle me right now
The club can't even handle me right now

Flo Rida - Club Can't Handle Me

I'm only posting thanks to that nonsensical Chuana who can't seem to get of my back, and bugs me a hell lot to blog cause she's my avid stalker. And I love her :D

Seriously, I'm gonna slap everyone who reminded me what today was. I've evidently wasted my whole 5 days watching movies. So far I've watched 6 Harry Potter movies (totally addicted). SALT. Step up 2 (old movie, but I find it nice to watch still). Avartar (really nice, I was screaming in my seat.)

Today! today today today. Went to macs, met someone. Did Amath homework, like finally. Went to hub, wanted to catch sorcerers apprentice, but there was only 1 freaking time slot, and it was at 9.10pm. Then went back to Tpc, went to library to borrow a book, watched Vampire suck and went home :D

I dread school tomorrow, never had I dreaded school as much as now. School now seems all so gloomy, and I hate it, alot. Wonder how am I going to continue facing the world.. facing everyone. Life seems so unworthy altogether.

Oh and. MelanieWong. Youre the prettiest ever, and I love you hell loads. You deserve all the love in the world and don't deny that. ILOVEYOU. Don't care a damn of what others say, they pose no threat (as you've said XD). Freak those bastards/bitches. Youre the best and.. 6 more days! :D

BYE~

2010-08-08T22:04:00.004+08:00

Free soul, you feel flawless
Up there in the sky you will fly
Free soul, always lights me up
In the darkness of my thoughts
Free soul, often and magical
You're the hope inside me
Free soul, light and unique
In the blue sky you will shine
And don't let futile fears
Hide the light inside you
I won't forget you
I will calabrate you
To the rhythym of this song

Anima Libera / Free Soul

Awesome song, I nearly went deaf ): But still awesome though.

Today was headache shit. Woke up at 11. Went to some house warming and ate hell lot of prawns. Cause everything I ate contained prawns. I'm prawn sick already , watched avatar too.. well halfway. Then went causeway point to shop and eat. Played arcade after that and went home. I'm so damn tired now. Watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? Its so interesting! I'm gonna miss the football match if this goes on O: ohmygawd.

Bye people.

2010-08-07T10:48:00.002+08:00

He's a million time better then Bieber.

Awesome covers :D

yes im at fault.

2010-08-06T19:15:00.008+08:00

And now I'm asking why didn't you listen to me?
Why didn't I do something,
Though you said 'please just let it be'?
Why did I let him take you from me?
The choices we make, to right the mistakes.
Too little too late.

Brandy Ft. Ne-Yo - Too Little Too Late

NDP in school was weird. But better then last year's :D. Went to school and had weird march past then went back to class. Did some weird bingo game.. (Didn't like it) Then went to the hall, 'celebrate' National Day. Got a file as a souvenir from the school and went to Tp to eat. Ate and went to watch SALT! Tickets were selling fast for the 1.05 show, so we went to watch the 2.15 one. It was so freaking cool. Salt is one of the most complicating characters I've ever seen, and the killings were superb. Slacked a little after that, and went home. Trying to do Amath homework how, but it's so hard ): So. thats that. Bye.

And I can't believe we're back at this again. When all things go wrong, the blame always comes back to me. I mean, who would you rather protect, the one who seems all so fragile and doesn't say a word when I'm pissing about something? Or the one who rants at everyone about small little matters and getting angry over some shit? Of course side the all so fragile one. It always ends up this way. Never once had it been different, I'm not saying I'm the saint, I know I'm wrong too. I know I'm the one being sarcastic and a bitch about it. I just can't stop because the anger overwhelms me. Why waste my time being angry over such little matters you may say. All these wouldn't matter a year or two from now.. Or would it? I'll really stop by Wednesday, cause I know I'm overboard. And I get it that some of you are already pissed with my actions.. I'm not ready to say sorry yet, but I do feel guilty. In ways I really think you hate me, thats why without effort, you can also cross the line sometimes. I don't need you as a friend, but I most certainly don't want you as a foe. People may see me treating you as unfair, or I'm the big bully, why treat someone so nice, so unfairly? Thats because theres another side to her you haven't seen yet. I know I sound really one sided, and I'm not trying to tell everyone I'm in the right here, and if you're not happy with what I'm saying here, then get away. Cause I'm just blogging about how I feel about this whole thing that I've played a big part in messing up. Well, for those who think I'm solely to blame at this, continue that way. Cause it really doesn't matter to me.

Cause I'm a bitch too

2010-08-05T20:45:00.007+08:00

Do you love me enough to let me go?
To let me follow through
To let me fall for you
Do you love me enough to let me go?
Back from the dead of winter
Back from the dead and all our leaves are dry
You're so beautiful, tonight

Enough to Let Me Go - Switchfoot

Hello mates. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo bored now. After being mad pissed for a day, ranting for 2 hours. I've become crazy mad. I think I'm really mean though. But I just can't stop. Hope I can try stopping tomorrow. Spent like 2 hours ranting and complaining till I think I'm gonna get high blood pressure. Stupid Hadi and Angus keep saying my eyebrown and expression. Then that stupid JingWei say my face's a joke itself. BITCH please!

So.. I think I should really stop being mad pissed over such a small thing. But it just gets on my nerves thinking about it. I'm getting cranky over the littlest things now. Its like, if you want to spread a god damn lie so much. you should just Freak yourself and die k. I said like more then 50 swear words today it's crazy. I think I'm really petty these days towards her especially.

And I think I'm sorry. But you should really apologize about telling lies to others right, well, you should also know that it's you, cause I'm totally ignoring you these days. Though I know I'm being overboard cause its such a small things and I'm making such a hoo-ha out of it. But you're the one who's really making me hate you more. It seems that whenever I try to push away my prejudgment of you and treat you as a good friend again, you try to stir up trouble to make me want to slap you in the face. You're nice in a way, but you're such a bitch when it comes to others. Sometimes i wish I could just shut the freak up about it, but I also hope you can just sew up that mouth of yours that can't stop telling lies. I'm really sorry for crapping and ranting about you to everyone today, cause my mind was filled up with such overwhelming anger i couldn't think straight at all. You're really nice, and I'll repent about this and my own wrong doings of having so much fun talking about it, but you should think before anything else comes out of that foul mouth of yours.

Sorry. I know I'm at fault too.

Tired

2010-08-04T19:26:00.003+08:00

-Fuckyeahappy.tumblr.com

She needs me now but I cant seem to find the time
I got a new job now on the unemployment line
And we don't know how
How we got into this mess is a god's test,
Someone help us cause where doing our best
Trying to make things work,
But man these times are hard
But where gunna stop by

Drinking all cheap bottles of wine
sit talking up all night,
saying things we havent for a while
a while yeah
Your smiling but where close to tears,
even after all these years
we just now got the feeling that where meeting
For the First Time

For The First Time - The Script

I'm learning how to shuttup. Give me a little more time. I'll close up totally.

Keep quiet, and don't say a word.

2010-08-03T19:23:00.006+08:00

I hear you breathing in
Another day begins
The stars are falling out
My dreams are fading now
Fading out
I've been keeping my eyes wide open

Your love is a symphony
All around me
Running through me
Your love is a melody
Underneath me
Running to me

your love is a song

The dawn is fire bright
Against the city lights

The clouds are glowing now
The moon is blacking out
Is blacking out

So I've been keeping my mind wide open
I've been keeping my mind wide open,
I've been keeping my hopes unbroken

Your love is a symphony
All around me
Running through me
Your love is a melody
Underneath me
Running to me

Your love is a song
Your love is my remedy
Oh your love is a song

Switchfoot - Your love Is a Song

Because its that nice, I decided to post most of it.

How I'd wish one day I'll fly off in a UFO, never coming back. Going to a foreign planet. Where maybe, life would actually be much easier then staying here. Maybe there won't be fights quarrels and hatred in us. Maybe, just maybe I'll start to learn how to love everyone again.

Because whatever I say now won't be regarded by anyone. Not any adults, not friends, neither strangers. Who'll listen? Really, no one does. Everyone has their own lives to attend to, who really cares about your one miserable pathetic life. You can say one million sentences, and maybe, just a very slim chance, they'll actually think about that one of million's of sentences that you have said. But after time, it'll still be brushed off as a fragment of their memory. So is it really that important to tell others how you feel, because 99% of the time, no one actually listens. No one.

Every individual wants to tell everyone they know what they feel, what they find interesting today, or what they want to gossip about. But, since everyone wants to say these, no one really listens, so there's really no point. You keep saying you want to care for others, in the end of the day, everything's still about yourself. This is human nature, every man for himself.

' Two men were strolling down a forest path when they came across a bear. One man scampered up a tree and escaped the bear's claws. The other man knew there was nothing he could do, so he dropped to the ground and played dead. The bear went up to the man and sniffed about his ears. He pawed at him a few times. Thinking the man was dead, the bear walked away. After the bear left, his friend came down from the tree.

"What did the bear say to you, friend, when he whispered in your ear?" asked his friend.

"Oh," answered his friend, "He just told me that I should consider about traveling with friends who run out on their friends in times of trouble." '

Two Men and a bear. A classic story, but isn't that human nature? Maybe 1 out of a billion will choose to save his friend first. But the rest, they'll run up a tree, I mean, who wouldn't? We aren't saints, so stop telling yourself to be nice. You know it's so freaking hard yourself. But, if everyone sees this in the other point of view, we could all be that 1 in a billion, the one who rather save his friend then himself. So whenever you want to rant your feelings to others, why not think for them. Listen to what they have to say, and let every second be that 1% of the time that you really listen. Then, will you learn how to treasure those around you. When I am able to do that, I'll relearn how to love others again.

I'm random today, So bye.

The script.

It's not me, its you. Youre the one making me put myself down.

I've reached my limits.

2010-08-01T19:15:00.007+08:00

I'm the oracle in my chest,
Let the guitar scream like a fascist,
Sweat it out, shut your mouth,
Free love on the streets, but
In the alley and I ain't that cheap, now
I don't care what you think
As long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness, In misery

I Don't Care - Fall Out Boys

Fuck you fuck shit, you shitty bitch, fyl bloody ass. Suck yourself to death or something, I feel like slamming your head into the wall or breaking your skull with a god damned hammer. FUCK. _l_ My instincts tell me to slam your head again the wall and make sure your skull crushes your brains and the juice leaks out of your ears. Freak you. Brag shit, go suck your balls bitch. Omg i want to fuck your brains out.

Ohfuckyeaunhappy. Today was interesting in the morning.

Rained like crazy so didn't want to go for the walk. Still went ite. Reached school with Chuana having our feets soaked thanks to the bloody flood at the school's bus stop. Seriously the drains there suck. Then reached school, took attendace, and went to the toilet so dry our shoes and socks. Still went though, but had to board the bus, so lived with it. Bus was damn cold, slept. (Y) Reached white sands, and it was still drizzling. They gave out free new moon umbrellas, no harm taking, so i took one. Sang to Don't stop Believing by Glee cast :D Fann Wong & Jenette Ow then came, Wenxi screamed like she never seen humans before. Hilarious. They damn white please, i aspire to be their skin colour :D Then started walking, singing, cheering. No voice already. LOL. 5km felt lesser then that please.

Jenette Ow was in front of us, so we sang real embarrassing songs containing her name. Damn paiseh!

Reached back, got freebies and helium balloon! -happyhappy- Went to chase a storm tropper but found out there were tons of them back there. -paisehed- Took photos with them. I missed the photo with jenette ow! LOL. Took photo with Fann Wong too. SHE DAMN WHITE. Went to White Sands, WenXi and JingRu pierced their ear. After that went to eat, And took 88 home. Slept in bus, the rest talked like O: -noisy- Went o hub, peed, Went with Chuana and Angus to cut their hair. Then went to meet someone. Walked for 30+ minutes, he's mad , some stupid school project LOL. Waste time only. Went home with two umbrellas. Like some auntie please. Bathed, rearranged cupboard. Damn cold now, I going crazy ):

Lazy to continue, Angry over some fuck-shit.

Bye

Street Dance

2010-07-31T21:09:00.003+08:00

Cause I know everything's gonna be alright
Now you're standing here right by my side
And we dance on, dance on, we gonna dance on
Ain't gonna work for life when we know we can dance on
Everything's gonna be okay
The streets will lighten up my way
So we dance on, dance on, we gonna dance on
Ain't gonna work for life when we know we can dance on

N-Dubz - We Dance On

I ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm MAD.

Loled. Today was tiring. Had Flag Day in the morning, at Plaza Sing. Boring.

Actually planned to meet ChuaNa and YiYi at tpc at 6.45. But we met in the same bus at exactly 6.45. Lol

Went for flag day, and ate breakfast at KFC. Sucks. Seriously tasted like shit.

After that people were giving Simon's balloons out, so charged to grab one of them.

Still threw it away ite but, it was fun rushing for it :D

After Flag day went to eat at food court. Queued for like a gazillion hour till i finally got my food.

Famished, so shoved the food down my throat. While the main com had Np meeting for the camp.

Then went to the hearing thing roadshow, and got free cotton candies and popcorn :D

The rest wanted to go iruma, so I went home :D (SO Guai right XD)

Changed, went Bishan catched Street Dance. SO FREAKING NICE.

SERIOUSLY, WATCH IT, CONFIRM NOT WASTE OF MONEY! ITS SO COOL LA!

After that went home, had KFC for dinner, and it's real true chicken, not like that shitty breakfast I had.

Bathed, and I'm slacking now. TIRED. Got Cip again tomorrow. I feel crazy signing up for so many Cip's.

Lazy to blog already. Bye.

I'll push you down a building,

to show you how much I love you

then to let others have you.

Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon

2010-07-29T19:39:00.005+08:00

Till all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no, I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that'll like those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time. Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Secrets - One Republic

Life life life life life, can I beg a differ?

We started off with nothing, so be ready to leave with nothing else but yourself. Naked and vulnerable. Alone, traveling to where ever we are suppose to go to in our afterlives. No one, not the sun not the moon, certainly not the stars either, are able to know whats coming. Because when it's time, when Armageddon arrives, we'll all face judgement. Life's so boring sometimes, we live the same pattern everyday, repeating the process. I am certainly tired of life. Tired of facing faces that tell me to fail. In times, even if you try to get up with all your might, some bastards are still there to get you down.Sick of what other's might think, why should I live the life they want me to.

School is slightly better these days. No more freaking whistles, screaming and scoldings.

Lessons are less boring, more interesting. Funnier, enjoyable.

But I seem to get more tired these days. I'm lazy like a pig to wake up in the morning.

Sleeping extremely early these days. Today taught the sec 1s how to tie their knots after school.

Ate hell lot after Geography class. A bowl of noodles, Cheese hotdog, 2 meatball, 2 nuggets :D

I am thus very poor currently. Wonder what's gotten over me these days.

I suddenly miss Hyeril, Auntie and the whole OBS gang ): Who ask them talk to me yesterday night.

Npcc tomorrow, hope it wouldn't suck in anyway. I'm dying here now. -sleepy-

And it's only 7.55pm. This is horrid.

This Saturday.. I think I'll go crazy before it comes.

Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything

i can't let you go.

2010-07-27T21:16:00.004+08:00

Thank god the week is done
I feel like a zombie gone
Back to life, Hands up and suddenly
We all got our hands up
No control of my body
Ain't i seen you before
I think i remember those
Eyes eyes eyes, Cuz baby tonight
The DJ got us falling in Love again

Usher Ft. Pitbull - DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again

How I wish life was simple. No fights, no wars .. no nothing.

Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Melanie Wong are you okay ??? (L)(L)(L) You know you can always rant at me. I'm all ears.

Chinese test tomorrow, screwed. Screwed Geog and SS test already anyway.

Math test was quite easy, but I'm still too dumb to do it right, hopeless dude, hopeless..

School was normal, what can happen, seriously. Not like a bomb will drop and explode there anytime.

I hate test, like -points middle finger- Anyway Npcc Service Day tomorrow, Full-u ):

Step up 3! Can't wait for it to come out. Still wana watch despicable me though.

I cant' stop eating these days, After eating dinner today, i went to get roti prata O:

And I'm still hungry now , this is insane!

Okay i really need to start trying to read my chinese already. I can't even read ):

Cmi, Fml. -palm- Is there Hanyupinyin or something ): -Depressed-

Screwed.

Tomorrows gonna be hectic.

2010-07-26T20:56:00.004+08:00

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

fuckfuckfuckfuckvvvvvvvvvv

I'm angry over nothing. Fuck.

Playful sins

2010-07-25T16:16:00.008+08:00

baby let me love you downnn
there's so many ways to love ya
baby i can break you downnn
there's so many ways to love ya
got me like, ooh myy gosh i'm soo in love
i found you finallyy, it make me want to say
oh, oh , oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
ohh myy gosh

OMG - Usher Ft. Will.i.am

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'm freaked out nao! But shall not say why.

And so, woke up at 6.20 today ): I am so exhausted now. Walk was LOL.

Sang and screamed while walking. Weather was like shit. Warmer then microwave.

Then went to slack at J8, Angus Sue Keith Dee ate pepper lunch. Wenxi and I stoned :D

Had nothing to do, so watched some videos at Best Danki? Is that it? Nah, I dont know too.

Legs are dying. Walked from Thomson Cc to Bishan Active. Omg dude.

Then went home, slackkkkkkk. Ate a bowl of fishball noodles and 4 McWings.

I feel the fats dude, its slowly becoming part of me now ): I foresee the me hours later.

Fat. -palm- The sins of good food. Large amount of unhealthy fats.

Currently brain dead. Headache much ): Curse Geography test tomorrow.

Hope the paper burns in some huge fire and we'll won't be able to take a test at all tomorrow.

I'm hungry now. I wonder why. Should have ate pepper lunch too.

:p The Lion's freaking cute up there. -spasms-

Okay, I'm so tired now. I really wana go offline like now and sleep.

I'm gonna just stone till someone is able to blow me mind-fucked.

Byeeeeeeeeeeee.

2010-07-24T14:23:00.006+08:00

Even if I try to avoid you I can't find a place to hide I can't even deny you

I'm trapped by you If it was love If you really loved me Don't do this to me.

Her whisper is the Lucifer

If you tie me down and trap me

Then the love is also tied down

The future is also tied down It can't grow anymore

Freely empty yourself and look at me

I'll fill you only, I'll completely fill you only

Shinee - Lucifer

Extremely bored out of my wits. And sleepy, though I refuse to sleep.

Yesterday was.. Indescribable. I'm too lazy to elaborate.

Why am I blogging anyway. I have nothing to say. Oh man.

Bye.

chances

2010-07-22T18:38:00.004+08:00

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?

Pink - Dear Mr President

Be kind, everyone's struggling someway or another.

Tired tired tired tired tired. Just purely tired. Today was normal. Lazy to elaborate.

Happy Birthday Angus & JingWei.

Yog was.. Weird. Cut my leg in class, curse the chair. School's a bore, give us a break dude.

People, humans, shouldn't want too much. When you have something, treasure it with your heart. Wanting more is just plain selfish. Why do you want so much in life. Chances will appear when it's time. Why snatch the chances of others to shine?

Life can never be fair, but think of others when you get those opportunities that could have been theirs, were they ever given a chance? Or have you taken their only chance away because of your self centered-ness.

Be happy, cause when you're happy, people around you will be happy too. When you're angry, people around you get pissed just by seeing your fucked up face. So don't be angry, stay cheerful :D Sorry to Keith today, didn't mean to have a sudden outburst of bitchy attitude.

Lazy to go on posting. Bye.

Life,

whats the hidden meaning behind it?

2010-07-19T20:29:00.002+08:00

Why does everything seem to be my fault. I also feel sick of it at times. I also have pms, ups and downs. Sometimes I just wana be understood.To tell others what I feel without feeling liek a bitch.But whenever i do that, everything seems to be my wrong too.It's sad when people tell us to talk to someone who cares, cause when you really need someone, you find out, no one really cares. Cause in the end, you can only depend on yourself in this miserable world.What everyone else cares about, is just themselves.

2010-07-17T21:06:00.001+08:00

Extremely Happy :D

Love you too RTSQ.

the victor of messiah

2010-07-17T14:47:00.012+08:00

Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playin' over
But you promised her next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
That's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
That's alright because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

Eminem Ft. Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie

I love 30 Seconds To Mars!

Yesterday was rather okay, school was usual.Well, what could actually happen.

FireDrill was cancelled. Due to the rain.But I'm sure they'll have a make up session.

I just finished watching Lovely Complex ); It's such a nice anime.

The sec1's handed in their reflections which were extremely cute.

Those evil poops who said I was evil were reading the reflections and laughing away. >.<

Went for the 2.30 lesson, which Fel did everything. Sorry Fel ):

After lessons, rushed down and grabbed the attendance file from the general office.

Took attendance and frantically wrote down the people who were present.

Taught the Sec1s how to tie the 8 basic knots. But didn't manage to complete.

They didn't even understand what I said -I failz- ):

Pt! made then run up and down and then did stretching.

Had some first Aid test after that =.= idgi but nvm.

Then debrief , I had my debrief pointers, so said alot of crap. HAHA.

And we were off duty! Anyway Np camp is going to be planned by Leroy and gang.

Goodluck man! Hope it'll be super fun.

Had super long screaming debate on where to eat. Walked to bus-stop,

went on screaming and debating. Heard lame jokes said by Angus, seriously.. LAME.

Keith is super racist please. He always starts those racist stuff!

Ate at Tp. Talked nonsense, then decided to leave cause it was late.

Hilarious talking with those people. Can't even see RenYong Angus and Chuana already :D

Too black. MUHAHAHHA. Missed 163! Cause Chuana didn't wana run ==

Went home, bathed, use comp, sleep :D

Woke up at 10 today ):Had tuition. Damn tiring.

Didn't really focus cause i was really sleepy.

I'm addicted to so many songs now, I'm going crazy.

Dustin Williams, if you read this, GO AND SLEEP NOW!

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing

Imagine

2010-07-15T20:55:00.009+08:00

Your two warm hands get cold when I'm cold,

your heart which used to be strong gets sensitive when I'm hurt
To silently take my hands, to silently hold me,

I only wish for those small comforts

You don't know this heart of mine,

which always wants to do more for you

Super Junior - No Other

HELLO FELLOW EARTHLINGS.

I am extremely cheerful now and I don't even know why.

School today was Shit. LOL As usual. Pms teachers.

Cl's tee designed and kinda confirmed! Freaking nice tee dudes. trust me.

Fart And Die!!! Damn interesting.

After Recess went to assemble at field. Warm but I'm surprised I wasn't complaining.

Luckly I wont have to be there hearing the shouts and screams of teachers tomorrow.

All hale fire drill duty :D You saved my miserable soul.

After school went to meet Shanny. Roamed around TPY and ate :D

Came home and bathed. Seriously.. I havan do Amath homeworkkkkk.

I'm in deep boiling soup ): I dont know how to do. Depressing.

Okay I'm lazy to upload alreadyyyyyyyyy.

Anyway. ILOVEYOU RTSQ. ( I did it so you better do yours. LOL)

BYE PEOPLEEE.

stunning.absolutely.

2010-07-12T20:39:00.007+08:00

It's the way that you blush when you're nervous
It's your ability to make me earn this.
I know that you're tired,
Just let me sing you to sleep.
It's about how you laugh out of pity
'Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny
I know that you're shy,
Just let me sing you to sleep.

The Spill Canvas - Lullaby

Imagine every day to be the last of a life surrounded with hopes, cares, anger and fear.

The hours that come unexpectedly will be much the more grateful.

Yesterday was kinda interesting.

Went church in the morning, then after church met with Wenci Chuana & Jasmine.

Because dear Wenci objected to sitting the mrt, we were late by the time we reached novena.

Then met up with Shufen Geraldine SueAnne and Jingru at novena.

Went to Raffles Place to meet up with the Ci's

Walked to Suntec and ate Ashtons? Theresa's treat :D (Ate a hell lot)

Then thanks to Chuana even Shufen is calling me names now ):

Then we went to Marina to bowl. LOL. But too many people, so we wrote our names first.

Then went arcade, frankly speaking I seriously hate the arcade.

Went bowling with Junlong and Colin. (was winning till Colin became so pro)

Next round was liek shit. Cause of eye pressure.

Then went to play Pool. Didn't even finish the game. LOL.

Wanted to go eat after that, but since all couldn't decide we just went foodcourt.

Damn freaky. Foodcourt experience sucks. Noodles was hot like shit.

I was literally on the verge of crying while eating. & I got a new daddy thats to that.

Junlong helped me wash the noodles in soup :D So it became edible.

Thanks Daddy. haha. This daddy so good one please.

Then went down and take picture and started running in the shopping centre. For fun.

Freaking paiseh, we're like one bunch of mad people running, but gave up at last.

Then ran through till the mrt (banged alot of people) while Wenci complain and complain.

Went home -happyhappy- Damn tired. Did Amath homework. Sleep.

Woke up at 2+ watched world cup, went back to sleep.

Woke up reluctantly, and went to school. (School sucked btw)

Lessons = boring as usual. Health & Fitness damn fun. Had a freaking red face after it :D

After school i got bullied. ): By Deirdre Yoong. And she fell twice. NOT MY FAULT ANYWAY.

She was pulling my and stripping my modesty. Freaking sicko.

At last left so miserably, Keith jasmine and I took pity on her and went to tp with her. LOL.

Bought stuff, Keith & I went back to school. Stupid security guard damn -.-'''

Then did English and Math homework. Didn't finish math. Went home.

I am very sleepy now. so Goodnights people.

Every second that passes,

takes away one second of my life.

Why live miserably when you can be happy?

an impossible smile

2010-07-09T22:08:00.004+08:00

Hiding behind the tears of a clown.

Behind those false images you seem to portray.

In the end, you're still just a sad little kid.

I'm tired of hiding my emotions.

even though..

2010-07-08T20:53:00.010+08:00

I feel like I'm drowning in ice water
My lips have turned a shade of blue
I'm frozen with this fear
That you may disappear
Before I've given you the truth
I bleed my heart out on this paper for you
So you can see what I can see
I'm dying here

'Cause I can't say what I want to
I bleed my heart out just for you

Hot Chelle Rae - Bleed

Wise men and philosophers throughout the ages have disagreed on many things, but many are in unanimous agreement on one point: "We become what we think about." Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "A man is what he thinks about all day long." The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius put it this way: "A man's life is what his thoughts make of it." In the Bible we find: "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."
One Sunday afternoon, a cranky grandfather was visiting his family. As he lay down to take a nap, his grandson decided to have a little fun by putting Limburger cheese on Grandfather's mustache. Soon, grandpa awoke with a snort and charged out of the bedroom saying, "This room stinks." Through the house he went, finding every room smelling the same. Desperately he made his way outside only to find that "the whole world stinks!"
So it is when we fill our minds with negativism. Everything we experience and everybody we encounter will carry the scent we hold in our mind.

Today was fun :D Really, really exhausted now.
Didn't do my reflection yet, so gonna do it later.
My nose is killing me like mad now ): I feel like chopping it off.
Basketball today is fun! After like a gazillion years of not playing ):
MW'Kloo cheer up okay. Devil cheer up to k. ):
Seems like people around me these days are under depression mode.
I think entertainment on 5 is crap. The games are the lamest shit EVER.
& I don't know how to do English homework, I'm going bonkers soon.
So damn sleepy now. And it's only 9. Timetable kills.
Hope tomorrow won't be shit. Gonna high all the way dude.
2 Math lessons! My brains gonna melt away slowly.
I cant even hear anything now cause the air pressure in my ear is so @#$#%^#$
I can hardly get air into my lungs. And my stupid throat seems to be on strike.
My head isn't filled with negative thoughts now, but I think its coming back soon.
I think I've said alot of wrong things unintentionally today. Sorry people. ):
Needa do my reflection nowwwwwwwww. Goodabye.

I become a different person when I'm not in the eyes of the world.

promises, either kept or broken.

2010-07-07T21:40:00.008+08:00

I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie,
'Bout a home I'll never see

Five For Fighting - Superman

I can't promise you that I'll always be there when you need me.
But I'll promise you that I'll love you as long as you want me to.

Dudeeeeeeeeeeeee. Today was okay. Kinda freaky but okay.

Life's peaceful as long as someone's not around :D

English lesson was shit mannnnnn. The two beside me died.

Math lesson was shitttt man. I was actually quiet. ):

Chinese lesson -slept, but got caught. made to stand and read some passage aloud.

History lesson, emoed and listened. But didn't copy notes cause too lazy to take out pen.

Got nagged at like mad. And made to answer some weird question on Great Depression.

After school was, weird. Everyone wasn't there ): until later.

Then it was even weirder something i dont know what happened.

Then someone sunk into the Great Depression.

Then went to Mudder's house to practice. But did nothing but slack. Damn stupid.

Damn high while going there, but reach already. No energy anymore. LOL

After that went to tp, chitchat, Damn funny.

One day 5 cents ^.^ I bet Renyong's the happiest guy in the world.

Then Ren and Keith bused 163 with me to tpy. Stopped at my bus stop.

Decided to go Chuana house kachao her. She damn epic wth.

I was damn smart man, i guessed its that house cause got bicycle :D

Then went home. Did math homework :D Both A and E.

Not doing english.. lazy. maybe tomorrow.

Looking happy,

doesn't mean I'm really happy.

when we become undone

2010-07-06T21:00:00.007+08:00

I lie awake again, my bodies feeling paralysed
I cant remember when
I didnt live through this disguise
The words you said to me
They couldnt set me free
Im stuck here in this life i didnt ask for
There must be something more,
Do we know what were fighting for?

Secondhand Serenade - Something More

School as per normal = shit.

Life's fine, back from Np camp after being a swollen pig.

3 Days of sever bites from blood sucking insects. They bite seriously weird places.

School today was slack :D Kinda getting used to the 7th period :D

Stayed back for nothing today ): So not staying back tomorrow .

Melanie just showed me something really meaningful.

But, i really wonder what would we become when we die.

Would we regret not treasuring our lives like we could have.

Living every moment happily rather then sulking and thinking your life sucks.

I'm lazy to blog already.

Iloveyouasshole.

Ireallythinkido.

frozen for a moment

2010-06-30T21:13:00.007+08:00

The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you
When a friend tries to stab you right in the face
Losing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew
Don't sweat it, it was set on false pretense

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - False Pretense

I want to scream, scream my heart out. Clear my head so my world would finally settle on a

spot, stop turning round in circles.School's been tiring. Cca's driving me nuts.

Ending school at 3.30 everyday literally makes me wana screw my head.

Why can't life just stop there like in a picture. Settle on that one scene and never move again.

I'm too damn lazy to do homework now, so screw tomorrow, I don't mind getting scolded .

It's insane to make us have lessons till 3.30 everyday. Seriously.

We're already packed having tons of homework everyday. And horrid Cca's.

We'll literally go crazy if this goes on. By the time we reach home, we're dead beat,

How the hell can we squeeze the extra energy to even focus on homework?

Then teacher's are all having pms now. They're so inconsiderate.

Can't they care about our health more?

Is results all that matters? If I get straight As for O lvls and die the next day.

It's almost like I wasted all my life studying for nothing.Cause I just wasted time on books,

when there are so many other things that i can do in life rather then study and befriend a book.

I reach home at 6+ 7 pm now. Feeling exhausted. By 9 i feel like a living zombie already.

I'm talking too much these days. Giving needless attitudes to people. Getting angry for no reason.

If tomorrow was my last day, I would stay home and rot the whole day,

thinking was all the needless anger needed? When i could have lived my life happily,

not caring about a thing in the world. No homework, no teachers, no schools.

Why can't the world be as colourful as it seems. So bright and happy.

Rather then tornadoes and volcanoes erupting everyday. Leaving us fear-stricken.

I don't think im the material for dancing. I look like a dying duck.

Why must I have camp this week. Its gonna suck cause its not OBS.

We get scolded for no reason. Push the floor when Ci's aren't happy.

Making us overboard things. Impossible things. Then scolding us if we dont do them.

Can't be late for a minute or we'll again get scolded. What kind of shit camp is this.

Get scolded all the time? Seriously. I rather stay home and face the four walls.

I always have a negative feeling before I got to camp. But I think this will seriously suck.

And getting bites from weird creature/insects. They're like hands + leg molesters.

They rape us and leave a mark there forever. (Not forever forever, but you know..)

I'm sick of blogging anyway.

I'm in a bad mood.

Happy? not

2010-06-29T20:33:00.007+08:00

The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

Linkin Park - Shadow Of The Day

I'm trying to be happy but am depressed ):

I miss my primary school so very much..

Secondary school life sucks like hell lot ):

I hate the new timetable. Seriously, ends at 3.30 almost everyday?

& having someone constantly threatening you to shut the hell up is like -.-

Or else he will charge you, or call his men down, or other stuff said with broken english.

& I'm pms-ing like crazy. Like i hate the school. then I hate the class.then I hate the teacher.

I'm seriously going crazy. Gonna like meditate or something.

I can't seem to stay sane these days though.

It's like a screw popped out of my head and its a goner. I'm screwed.

Sometimes i just stay normal, and then suddenly it goes haywire again.

And then I start acting weird and angry all of a sudden. And hating everything.

Neither can I stay happy, I wonder why too. The timetable just pisses me off.

I'm high and then low.Maybe staying high is too tiring. I don't have good stamina O:

I need something inspirational now. Kinda in a I-feel-like-ripping-your-skin mood.

I love-hate the school now. More of the hate part and just throwing in a little love.

But you know.. must love the school to give myself motivation to want to wake up tomorrow.

If i was a tinman, I would never go to school ever. & I'll open tincans everyday.

Neither will I be threatened by some bastard for making noise.

Life.. What can I do about it now.

Either make it joyful or sad. I'll try to make it enjoyable.

I'm...

speechless.

iloveyou

2010-06-27T21:00:00.007+08:00

I dreamed I was missing , you were so scared
But no one would listen , cause no one else cared

After my dreaming , I woke with this fear
What am I leaving ? When I'm done here

So if you're asking me.. I want you to know

When my time comes , Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some , Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid , I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface . Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

Forgetting , All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

Linkin Park - Leave out all the rest.

I'm sick of life, but when i think of the people who are dying in another part of the world,

and actually want to be alive. I wonder why i am doing this.

So I'll be proud to be living, cause I'll be living for those who want to live.

For those who died though they treasured life.

I'll live the dreams of those who have lost theirs.

Cause if they who deserve to live aren't living.

Why are those who don't deserve to be living.. living?

I'll treasure life now.

Cause everyone has one chance, and they have to treasure it while they can.